Bea the Bud is back with some tales of her friends’ holiday romances, musings on whether hot summer flings are a good idea, and excitement for Hot Girl Summer.
My friend met a guy recently. He was on holiday in her city in Spain. They were coincidentally at the same club on the same night. They met and her friends spoke with his friends and his friends spoke with her friends. And she spoke just to him. They spent a few hours together and soon after she booked a flight across Europe to see him a month or so later. The question is, is it too impulsive? Is it romantic? Could it ever end well?
The trip she booked – it just ended. She’d been there since Thursday and came back today. She said it’d gone well and he’d been nice but spending so much time together whilst hardly knowing one another had been really intense. She had the feeling of: is he actually enjoying this or is he feeling trapped? But, nevertheless, she said it’d been worth it. It was impulsive, it was fun, she saw a new city, she made a new possible friend… or maybe more… and as we like to say to each other: do it for the plot.
So let’s delve into why people have holiday romances: is it the sun and the feeling of being holiday? Is it the time-limit? Is it because of that butterfly feeling when you first meet someone you like? Or is it being away from home and feeling of adventure?
Getting Swept Away by the Romance?
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Hot Girl Summer
I have another friend who also has a similar story. (It’s easy to keep up with my friends’ lives when similar things happen in more than one’s.) She met this guy on a night out and they passionately kissed in the street and he said he was booking flights there and then. He had to come back and see her again.
Sadly, he hasn’t visited yet so I’ll have to get back to you on that later. But, honestly, a lot of my friends are single and ready for hot girl summer (my mind can’t keep track of all the names of guys they’re seeing). I hope they all get their hot girl summer action so I have lots to write about. Writing about my friends’ sex lives, true Carrie Bradshaw style. But anyway, the anticipation of their meeting again is exciting me so much and I’m not even involved in this holiday romance at all. Fingers crossed it goes well.
Read more from Bea the Bud…
Looking for more honest advice from your favourite new queer big sister? Catch her latest column:
Where’s My Summer Romance?
I did check my Hinge profile a few times when I was in Spain but nothing interesting happened. I also giggled and blushed everytime a hot barman came over and said hola chicas but I’m forever too shy to ever ask anyone’s number. I’m still keeping up with my affirmations: you’re hot, you’re sexy, you could pull anyone if you tried, and anyway what’s the worst that can happen? One day I’ll find myself a hot Spanish lover who’ll whisk me away to foreign lands and feed me lots of tintos de verano on the beach.
I know holiday romances can work, I am the product of one. My parents are still together and still travelling the world hand in hand, especially since they now don’t have four kids they have to lug around with them everywhere. Honestly, since my siblings and I moved out, they’re meant to be having their empty nest syndrome and missing us constantly, but they’re just taking lots of holidays, staying in fancy hotels, and eating expensive meals. They are couple goals. They are who I want to be when I’m in my 60s.
Also, more proof holiday romance can become true love – they fell in love long before email and texts. This was back in the day when they sent letters and called long distance on the landline. If anyone can prove that holiday romances exist, it’s them. They’ve been happily married for 32 years and counting.
Although my parents are proof, I’m still hesitant to believe that holiday romance becoming true love is really as good as people make it out to be. Surely long distance love is a lot more difficult than short distance. Surely if you want to be short distance one of you has to give up being close to family and friends. Surely one of you would have to give up the culture you grew up with and know so well. There are so many sacrifices to make when falling in love with someone who lives so far away. Is it even worth it?
My friends meeting foreign loves in foreign lands say they do it for different reasons. One said she just wants to have fun. She recently got out of a long term serious relationship and now wants to travel, meet new people and have good sex. The other wants to meet someone so she has the chance to travel and see if it would be possible to move elsewhere. Although is meeting someone and spending time with them with the aim of moving to their country a good idea? But how many reasons are there for wanting a holiday romance? Or of even wanting a possible long distance love?
Personally, as the worst hopeless romantic yet commitment issues girlie I am, a holiday romance sounds like the ideal thing for me. Someone to fantasise about and not have to deal with the reality of who they really are and then have it end soon enough for it not to end in an argument or bitterly. And also the added bonus of you can also book a holiday and visit them and maybe have some repeated holiday sex. It all sounds perfect.
But, I do know my commitment issues are one of my biggest red flags, and I can’t rely on holiday flings for love and affection. Also, just because you met someone on holiday doesn’t mean that someone wouldn’t be willing to make it into a long term long distance love. The lesson here is: don’t use people for sex on holiday, make sure if it’s a short term thing that they know that too.