How to Be Sexy

Bea the Bud on how to be sexy, how to feel your best, and the influence Gok Wan had on an entire generation of tweens.

My Fairy Gok-Mother

I think I may have mentioned it before. Scrap that. I’ve definitely mentioned it before. I love Gok Wan. I have since I was little. My brother once told a friend of mine in school how he’d come downstairs to 10 year old me watching How to Look Good Naked on E4 and then switching to E4+1 to watch the first half I’d missed. First How to Look Good Naked was broadcast and then Gok’s Fashion Fix. I loved both. I never missed them every Saturday and Sunday morning.

Gok’s Fashion Fix was just Gok Wan preparing outfits, having his high street outfits compete with brand clothes outfits, and him just giving fashion tips. It was great and I will definitely talk about it again. But I’m going to be looking at How to Look Good Naked more. The show took middle aged women who had fallen out of love with their bodies and tried to let them feel confident again. Gok would liven up their outfits and make new outfits which enhanced their shape and fitted their personalities. This part got the women in the show to become more confident in their day to day. 

He also gave tips which I weirdly remember well. For example, they confided in Gok that they wouldn’t let their partners touch their stomachs when they spooned or cuddled in bed, or they wouldn’t get naked in front of their partners because they felt so insecure.

It’s also something I used to think about when you lie on your side and your belly slides down and the idea of someone laying their hand on the flab was terrifying.

But Gok got the couples to speak and got their partners to compliment them and make them feel comfortable and asked the women to get used to showing their partners what they considered less attractive about themselves. The reality is that most bellies slide to one side when lying on the side. That’s just human bodies.

And then it came to the last part of the show. The women would be asked to walk in a lingerie fashion show in front of a crowd and they’d be asked to do a naked photoshoot (nothing explicit of course it was daytime TV). Most women weren’t keen to get naked but Gok and his dazzling personality would remind them of how hot they really were and they would normally get naked for the shoot or if not completely naked they’d have something like a satin sheet to partially cover themselves and just show a cheeky bit of skin. 

The reason I’m talking about this is because I’d never really felt super hot. I had attractive parts of me, sure, but I’d never felt completely like I was this dazzling person who stunned everyone she walked past. That’s until recently.

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The Haircut That Changed Everything

After a rather unexpected bad haircut (give me a second I will explain). I was left feeling like the ugliest person in existence. It’s crazy how much a haircut can change your entire perception of yourself. But that was soon fixed when I got a new haircut and decided it was time to colour my hair how I’d always wanted to. My hair had been slightly bleached by (I believe) from when I tried to dye it ginger and it went bright clown red. The red was so blindingly bright there must’ve been bleach in it. Anyway, half of my hair was slightly blonder considering the ginger had washed out and the slightly bleached hair had grown out since dying it. It genuinely just looked like bad bad balayage. 

(A quick recap of what happened to my hair)

I am the worst when it comes to getting my hair cut. I’ve always gotten my brother to cut my hair because it’s so thin I can’t justify spending a lot of money on it. However, he wasn’t around so my flatmate said she’d do it. She took me into the bathroom, hung my head over the tub, wet my hair, and gave the end a good chop. I dried my hair and realised a giant square of hair had been cut off. From the front of my hair to around my ear, I had a giant side fringe. Like those that everyone had in 2010 but just five times as big. 

I had always wanted to have bright blonde hair and when I’ve seen blondes I’ve always appreciated cold blondes (almost white) more than warm blondes (like a yellow-y blonde). And I’d gotten in my delusional mind that my bad bad balayage look made me look like early 2000s Xtina. You know the white hair with the streaks of black? Stunning. We tested on some apps if white hair would actually suit me before I bleached the life out of it. It looked incredible. I called the hairdresser. 

We bleached my hair for roughly five hours. My wallet in my back pocket, which made me seem three inches taller when I sat down, was depleted. My neck was sore from the tons of tinfoil wrapped around my hair. My scalp was burning and my scalp skin was now flaky. But despite all this I was now sexy. Poor and in pain, but sexy. 

This new hair got me taking more and posting more pictures of myself, it got me looking at myself in pictures thinking “cor who is she?!”, it got me double taking myself in any reflection. This new hair boosted my self confidence to levels I didn’t even know existed. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are still times I feel not as hot as my usual standards of feeling drop dead gorgeous. These include when I’ve showered and my hair is still wet. My hair becomes this yellow like a white ferret. And my hair is dead straight so I end up looking like Draco Malfoy from the first Harry Potter film. 

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What is it that Makes People Feel Hot?

The haircut was definitely included in the makeover Gok gave the women on the show. It definitely wasn’t a big part of the show. I’d even forgotten about it. I think he gave them their new haircuts near the end. They were provided with a new wardrobe and given a makeover before their naked shoots. I’m almost certain. But still not actually completely sure. 

Anyway, haircuts didn’t seem a big part of their transformations but it was mine. Their big transformations, I would say, mostly came from clothes, learning how to dress for their bodies and accentuating their favourite parts of themselves (personality and body). I keep stressing how it was both their personality and body because there are ways to accentuate things like if you have big boobs or a big bum or a tiny waist.

But he would also dress them according to their personalities, like bright personalities would have maybe more colourful in your face outfits, and then maybe more serious people would wear more toned down but classy outfits. I think it’s more than just new flattering clothes that matters when boosting how you feel, the clothes definitely need to represent you as well.

So, coming to the end. What have we learnt? How can we feel hot? How to Look Good Naked got people to buy new clothes, get a makeover, parade in lingerie in front of a crowd, and to have a professional naked photoshoot. I don’t know if I’d recommend doing all of those, unless you really want to, of course. I think they’re all very 2008 TV, a little problematic but also for 2008 not problematic at all.

There are some parts I really do resonate with though. I do think getting used to being naked and getting comfortable being naked does do wonders for self image. I also believe seeing other body types helps lessen the idea that there is only one correct type of body. 

It’s not always just about how you view your body though like with me and all it took was just simply changing my hair. Bit of bleach, a bit of a chop and now I feel hot. So what is it really? What makes people feel hot? Surely, it’d have to do with confidence and happiness. But honestly, I’m not really sure. All I can recommend is experiment with your looks, with your hair, with your clothes and find out what makes you feel your best.